eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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