Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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