Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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