I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
