Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
