halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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