Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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