Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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