Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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