Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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