i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
