Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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