1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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