Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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