On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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