Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
