I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
this beer tastes like vomit already
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
