Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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