I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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