Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
