I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
