By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
