I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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