did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
