ugly people sure do ruin things
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
