Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The air was thick with penises
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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