I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
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I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
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she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
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