Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

i would punch a child for taco bell

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(319): View more from Iowa

By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"

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(217): View more from Illinois

I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats

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(+33): View more from France

how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(757): View more from Virginia

Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight

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(425): View more from Washington

I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.

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(248): View more from Michigan

There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style

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(727): View more from Florida

He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.

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