just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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