Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
