Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
