i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
