we have officially lost it.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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