I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
