Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
