I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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