69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think your dad took our porno
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
