I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
