Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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