He kissed a someone with a penis
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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