Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.

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(214): View more from Texas

I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.

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(302): View more from Delaware

he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"

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(256): View more from Alabama

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.

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(903): View more from Texas

He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.

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(+79): View more from

Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.

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(425): View more from Washington

The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....

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