Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.