Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer