He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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