And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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