I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
