Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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