What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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