I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
