Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize