U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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