Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
