I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
