Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
it was like eating out sand paper
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
