You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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