are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The best revenge is premature balding
Everything about him screamed your future.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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