nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
