Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize