Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
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All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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