Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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