I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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